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Gentlewoman: Etiquette for a Lady, from a Gentleman (BEREOLAESQUE) by Enitan O. Bereola II (2013-12-17)

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  • PDF | Unknown pages
  • The Bereolaesque Group (1877)
  • Unknown
  • 8
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Review Text

  • By Lia on July 3, 2016

    I haven't actually read the whole thing yet, but I rated it highly because I want people to understand that this criticism is not meant maliciously, just as I believe this cover photo is also not meant maliciously.Scanning Amazon for etiquette books I came across this one, which I assumed was by some European foreigner (I took "Lady" to mean the literal aristocratic label, and his name looked foreign to me), and was pleasantly surprised to find that the author is a black man. On his Facebook page cover he has a picture of a lot of black women with their phones out at an event of his. And scanning the page and Instagram page I see a lot of black faces and even a picture of over a dozen black women standing on a staircase holding up this book with this white woman on the cover!Let's say that this cover model, Graham Knoxx isn't white, she looks just like it from this angle. Was brown skin and/or curly hair not good enough? Would it turn away so many people that a black model wasn't worth the risk?Cut back to this book: I Googled every name on the list of models and (Photography Insert Credits) and almost every one on the Contributor Credits. I didn't find many (any?) of the models but the Contributors as far as I found are black people.My point:I've seen this too many times: advertisements with white/ very pale mixed race people selling products/ services that are supported by/ targeted to blacks. I don't believe this book is targeted to blacks, but it sure as hell is supported by them possibly more than any other group.And for those people who feel like "race doesn't matter", then answer me, especially you Enitan O. Bereola II, why couldn't the model look like your supporters?

  • By Lauren R. on May 25, 2017

    Some elements of this book irked me, although it had some redeeming qualities. The author has a way with metaphors which is evident and I appreciated some of the usually direct pieces of advice. I suppose books focusing on etiquette and relationships and the like are somewhat repetitious and it's a topic that most people intrinsically already know the basics of, because, well, we're all human and we grow up in a society that teaches us some of these things already. So, because I've read similar things to this, I didn't think anything was that groundbreaking or new about the actual content of the book. I surmise the book's large amount of reviews (usually good ones at that) are due more to the style of the book and how the author approaches the subject. Overall, this book was not for me. It may be for you, but for somebody like me, you might not love this book. First off, it's very poetic at times, and praiseworthy of females in a sappy sort of way. I really didn't want to be told I was some magical piece of art. I did not want "just be who you are in all your authentic glory and the men will follow" type of advice (and maybe that's my fault for expecting something different and/or selfishly wanting "rules" that were more objective when such objectivity is not a very reasonable demand in this area.) So, if you bristle at poems and don't want to be linguistically serenaded, be forewarned. As well, this book is quasi- religious. It's Christian but in a lighthearted inspirational Pinterest quotes kind of way. The prevailing ethos is, I don't know, emitting radical love and peace to your fellow humans or something like that. Towards the second half of the book I came across a statement that was something like: "Remember, the collective is more important than the individual". And I was like, "oh hell no!" If I had to guess the political orientation of the author I'd probably guess, maybe, social democrat? Not a radical one, maybe a slightly tepid, or at the very least, conflict-adverse one. OR one of those people that doesn't like politics precisely because it's often divisive and involves conflict and believes if people were just to imagine themselves and behave as little rays of sunshine, the world would live in harmony. Ok, I'm being a little sarcastic here, I know. Additionally, the book is structured a little oddly. Lots of different fonts and paragraphs intercepted by mantras such as the vaguely Communist one above. Some portions were a bit unnecessary. It is far more likely, for example, for somebody to google what temperature to serve wine at than to page through a book. Overall, this book was not for me. It was too grandiose in an unwarranted way that felt a little manufactured, too flowery. I guess if you can flatter the females that really need a pick-me-up with comforting sentiments and "you are a queen" proclamations well enough, they'll be emotionally revitalized while reading the book and report a life change after reading. That said, of course the author had good intentions and of course the majority of you will love this book, the good reviews already speak for themselves and the popularity of the book should say something about how well people like the style of the author. But this is for anybody that has misgivings or doesn't know if this book is for them. As well, I'll just say it--this book is overpriced. $18, really? It's not even that new--it was published in 2013. Objectively speaking, this book does not take as much research or IQ as, say, a book on the history of trading derivatives in the global market, for example. Somebody that wrote THAT type of book could reasonably charge $18 for it but to charge $18 for classy snippets of etiquette advice seems a little much. Just me?

  • By Rachel on July 18, 2015

    I enjoyed this book. It is for both men and women to read. It has a good mixture of interviews, narratives, short stories etc. It really draws out the difference between women and ladies. Some parts are contradictory. He may write several pages as to why you should do one thing, then say "but do what you want". It's very suggestive (uses dialect like "try" "should") versus being straight out "do this this and this". There are some parts that drag on and on where it seems he may personally (or perhaps feedback he's received have asked him to elaborate more) have topics of which he (for lack of better terms) blabbers on.There is also a good component that brings in what men's points of view are. Some of my concerns are this book can't be applied universally, because unfortunately it doesn't acknowledge differences in race as a social structure. Overall, good book.

  • By A.Washington on February 18, 2016

    I originally received this book with two whole pages ripped out and I was LIVID. Imagine reading and tapping into something you had anticipated reading forever and you come to an abrupt hault....yea not a great feeling.BUT...I reached out to Author Bereola to inform him of my issue and he was so personable and kind. He ensured that I would get a replacement, and with no trouble, Amazon did just that.So I was able to read Gentlewoman in its entirety and when I tell you this book speaks to you...it SPEAKS. I was able to relate to so many of the messages, I felt as though he was speaking directly to me at times. You wont be disappointed with this one! I cannot wait for what is next!


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